Two years, 3 months and 1 day ago (but who’s counting?) I broke up with job with which I had developed a toxic relationship. There’s no shade towards my former employer or any of the people that I worked with there. In fact, I feel quite the opposite and I don’t think I will ever find another group of people so amazing to work with. That said, I was introduced to them at an extremely vulnerable time in my life and became overly attached and co-dependent on that job. It became an escape and an excuse to neglect myself. In a weird way that would take much longer than a single blog post to explain, I used my career to punish myself for not living up to my own expectations in other areas of my life. Leaving that job was a life changing decision, again, not because there was anything wrong with that job or the people I worked with, but because it created an interruption in my patterns and habits that changed my life forever.
In starting a new job, I was faced with the space to focus my energy inwards and the confrontation was unavoidable. Despite some resistance in the beginning, I finally gave into myself and the achievements and advances in my life became unavoidable. I lost weight, got control of my finances and achieved a professional designation among other things; however, it wasn’t long before I got distracted by the day to day and I didn’t quite finish the weight loss goal. Today, I decided I was going to finish that goal, and have a little over 7 months to do it.
My goal is to lose 25 lbs before my birthday in September. When I achieve this, I will have lost over 50 lbs. More than just the weight loss, achieving this goal is about being the healthiest version of myself inside and out. It’s about showing up for myself so I can show up for the people I love in my life as my best self. And mostly, it’s about keeping a promise I made to myself when I decided that I mattered and I was worthy of my own love.
As part of the goal to lose 25 lbs before my birthday, I am also deciding to document the process, something I wish I had done when I lost the first 30 lbs. So right now, I’m feel hopeful and excited to share this journey, but most of all I’m feel determined to finish what I started two years ago.